The following entry was part of an exercise, and I thought it would give readers a look into the past few months of my life. It includes important information, but not all details are conveyed. Enjoy.
The wind blows everywhere
Part
1:
The summer of 2013 was nice, clear,
and full of fireflies. The streams in the local park were full of water and
life; nothing was missing from this beautiful piece of land. The wind swept
through the wheat fields while the birds sung their regular mating calls. Grass
dwellers hopped from lawn to lawn without fear, and I was tiptoeing through life
with a half empty bottle.
I was working for a wonderful
employer doing HVAC work that I wasn't fully committed, but I did enjoy spending several hours per week having wonderful conversations with my Mike.
The days and weeks were long though, I worked evenings for my parent’s commercial
cleaning company, and then after work I would have long conversations with a
good friend. We eventually became a little more than friends, and at the same
time I started to feel the call to devoting my life to Jesus. I wanted to
finish my undergrad degree before committing myself to His work because I had
already come too far in school to quit. I thought this was the logical step, so
I took it, yet in the depths of my soul I knew His work was more important than
school. My plan was to graduate with a geography degree, pay off my loans by
using a higher paying job than I would have had without the degree, THEN commit
myself to voluntary poverty and God’s work.
I had some idea of what His work
looked like; maybe I would join a Catholic Worker’s House for a year or two,
maybe I do an overseas mission trip, I didn't know then and I really don’t know
now. I think a healthy amount of doubt is always needed for strong faith. I talked
this over with my “more than friend, friend”, and she helped me a bit, and she
partially understood my thoughts. The summer ended, work for Mike ended, work
for my parents ended, my relationship with the girl I thought was perfect for
me…ended. I still had Jesus, and His word was/is sacred. I packed my belongings
and went back to Manhattan.
Part
2:
The warm air filled the yellow sky,
and doubt of my decision to finish school filled my thoughts. I wanted to live
like Christ, I wanted to be in voluntary poverty, and I didn't know how school
fit into my Christ focused life. I wanted to drop out of school and pay of my
loans. Why was I getting more loans if I didn't want to work in my major?
Educational is useful, but loans are a dread. Why is school so expensive?
At the same time I was having down I
was getting invested in my spiritual life. I was attending Daily Mass
practically every day it was offered, and it helped me immensely. I decided to
take the Rite of Christian Initiative for Adults to become a member of the
Roman Catholic Church. The class ended up stressing me out due to several parts
of the class that bothered my peace and nonviolence theology. I eventually
stopped going, but I still went to Daily Mass on occasion. I also held an hour
of adoration at an adoration chapel in town.
After my frustrations with Catholic
ideology I decided to seek out a new place of worship. During the past couple
years I read books on non-violence and Christian Anarchy. Community seemed to
be an important aspect that was noted in all of my readings. I had friends that
had the same anarchic impulse, but they were not located in the same town.
Mennonites were mentioned has being nonviolent and peacemakers, so I did an
internet search and found a single Mennonite church in a town filled with
military people.
The first service I went to at
Manhattan Mennonite Church was beautiful; the youth group had prepared music
featuring classical instruments. I immediately fell in love with this small
group of people, and they were very welcoming. During the next week my might
began floating back to the calling that God was giving. I did an internet
search for Mennonite mission opportunities. The first link was Mennonite Central
Committee, and I began looking at the service opportunities. The next Sunday I
was sitting in church, and a member mentioned MCC and the missions they were
doing. I also noticed that MCC was in bulletin, and the church gave part of
their tithe money to MCC.
I looked on the website the next
week, on Wednesday, and I noticed that Bolivia SEED as a service opportunity. I
was immediately interested, but the due date for the application was too soon,
and I didn't have enough time.
The following Saturday I was
drinking a beer and the urge to look at MCC’s website came over me again. I
noticed the Bolivia Seed was still in the listings. I read through some of the
others, and I qualified for a few, but I didn't want to raise money. I saw that
Seed had extended the due date for applying; I immediately began working on the
application.
After two interviews and 2.5 weeks
of waiting I received word that I was not chosen for the project. I wasn't upset, I had already started working 60 some hours for a homeless shelter and a
plant pathology laboratory, and I was enjoying my new church community. I went
back to my original plan.
Part
3:
The light was shining through the
greenhouses on Denison Street, the trees were bare and patches of snow rested on
the dormant grass. Students walked back and forth on the sidewalk, but no one
could see me mixing soil due to the reflective white chemical that is applied
to the greenhouses yearly. My phone rang, the caller ID was blank. Jean S. from
MCC was on the line, and she wanted to offer me a position on Bolivia Seed. I
told I was quite positive that I would take the position, but I told her I
wanted a few days to sleep on it.
The date she called was on December
6, 2013, and on December 9, 2013 I officially accepted the position, finals for
school began. The weeks passed, forms were submitted, and my life in Manhattan
was coming to a close. I was excited, my decision was coming to life, and my
thoughts were somewhat focused.
I
am alive, He is alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment