Keeping Calm

I am sitting in the work space at a local Cochabamba cafe trying to think about the next steps I will take in life. The thoughts come slowly, but processing them in a methodical manner is off the table. There seems to be no way to compartmentalize what will happen in the next few months, things are up in the air...again (wait, isn't that always the case, trying to find rhythm in chaos). One thing that stabilizes mode is my relationship to my girlfriend of almost two months; something lovely, wonderful is going on here, ya know that hard to describe love stuff, eso esta pasando.

Work problems seem to be a theme that I have used in my past blogs; being part of a new program in a new country tends to feed this perceived mess, combined with uncharted territory into feelings that I have yet experienced.

After the move from living in the country in the community of Totorani to a more permanent living situation in Cochabamba, I began to form a community in Cochabamba. I was very happy for the opportunity to have more time to explore the city and be closer to a population that is more similar to my population back home. I enjoyed the peaceful, simple life that living in the country offered, but I found it difficult to assimilate to the lack of social life, my perception of the lack of social life. Like I said before, I initially left Totorani due to political strife the family I was living with received due to my residence in their house, not an easy situation to resolve. So I left, but I also made several return trips to help my co-worker with trainings. I was able to manage my schedule of being in the city three weeks and then spends two weeks in the country.  Little by little this way of working was breaking down my flexibility and my ability to perform the work that I came to Bolivia to "accomplish". I eventually came to a fork in the road, continue to promote the project in the country while taking shots at my mental stability or start the search for a stable life in the city for the remaining 3 months I have left in Bolivia.

I decided to start the process in transitioning from my work in the country to work in the city. I have yet to see what that will look like, so I am still going through a stressful time of transition. Luckily I have friends to help me through the situation along with the Dude up the sky and maybe a little rap music.

Continually trying to be in the moment while my end date approaches has me repeating a mantra, "This. Here. Now.", and always reminding myself that keeping calm in the midst of change is a must. I sign off.